2.1.11



I miss you Mer. I just want to talk. I don't need to see you, or hear your voice but if you could just listen. I often feel that you can...Christmas Eve was so much harder than I thought it would be. We missed you and Mike. I can't even tell you how much it hurt to walk to your grave site that night. It felt so wrong. So wrong that your beautiful body should be resting below that very ground. We all missed you. But I felt so much comfort that you have Mike by your side. That you are together still. As we sang "Families can be together forever" I knew once again how true that is. That night as I stuffed Ysa's stocking I felt your smile. Is that possible? And can you believe how much Ysa is changing? She is trying to sit on her own. Everyday she gets better at it. I can actually see her trying to find her center! And this morning when I left the bedroom she cried for me. She loves me. I cant even put into words how much that little cry meant to me. We love her so much. Merin, she is such a sweet baby. I miss you. I Love you. I hope you hear me. And know how true these feeling are.
xo
your big sister.

12 comments:

Niki Carter said...

Ouch. So personal and beautiful. Love you!

BarbaraJo said...

That just tugs at my heart-strings. Beautifully written. You have a gorgeous family!

ec said...

what beautiful photos. ysa fits right in ...

hope your holidays held more happiness than heartache!

Anonymous said...

Dear Eden:

I am sure both Merin and Mike hear you loud and clear. I am also sure they are very proud about how you have cared for and love their little girl.

You have two beautiful princesses in your life, and a handsome young prince to watch over them. Peace be with you Eden.

Thelma

H and E said...

She does love you so much! You can see it in the way she looks at you...and you better believe she will cry for you everytime you leave the room, the bittersweet cry! I am sorry the holidays were so hard, but you survived the first!
Love you

Sara and Dustin said...

Oh Eden.

That must have been so difficult to visit their grave site. I'm sure they are both with you as much as they possibly can. I believe they are with you more than you think.

I still think of you and pray for you often.

Heidi Allred said...

We wish you all the best this New year! I hope you can feel even more comfort than with the last.. I'm here for you again, for anything!

pieface said...

Eden- I can't imagine the heart ache. And I thnk that you most definitely felt her smile during christmas eve. That makes perfect sense. Much love to you.

the grumbles said...

beautiful words.

Today's Gift said...

Beautiful. It's so wonderful to have the knowledge that we will be with our families again. My prayers are with you.

Jill said...

I am seriously sobbing. I am so sad reading that. Eden, there has GOT to be some great reward in heaven waiting for you and your family. This is almost too much to bear. Thank goodness for sisters. Merin really can rest in peace knowing how much you love Ysa. I can't imagine the heartache if you weren't around to take her into your family. It is just about as perfect a situation as possible considering the circumstance.

Angela DiGiovanni | life * iphoneography * art said...

This post made me cry and it touches my heart. Thanks for being so vulnerable. Please continue to share your story and your feelings along the way - you can touch so many people and bring about so much healing for yourself and others.

Love to you.