Today I woke up and it hurt to breath. A wave of deep ache for my little sister flooded me. 4:00am and I rush to our baby for an early morning bottle, moments after Ysa is tucked back in I slip back into bed when Aubrie is up with another bad dream. Rushing down the stairs, trying to get to her before she wakes the other kids I give her the security that comes from a moms embrace. But I lay there unable to sleep. I miss you. And the aches climbs to the back of my throat. I know it will stay there until Ysa wakes up and I can hold her. Oh- Mer. She is so much fun now! Especially in the mornings, she greets me with the biggest smiles and I swear she is saying "hi!" over and over. She is sitting and reaching and melting our hearts. We love her.
We watched your preformance of Coppelia again yesterday. The first time we watched you I was nervous about what my reaction would be to the DVD but it was beautiful. You are so beautiful and always have been. Aubrie, Ysa and I have watched it several time since. Ysa bounces along to the music, something deep within me tells me she really knows the music. Like a baby knows the sound of her mothers voice. It gives me a feeling of reverence. I wanted to tell you how beautifully she fits. I want to reassure you that she is doing well. I wish so deeply that things were different, that you were still here with us. But to my sweet sister I need you to know how grateful I am for everything you gave me as my sister. Our memories are so dear to my heart. I look forward to sharing so many memories of you and Mike with our little Ysa.
For the record Ysa, your Mom is pregnant with you in these photos!