14.6.11


There is something in the air today. I am not sure what it is but I'm having a sad day. There is a lump in my throat that I just can't seem to swallow. Perhaps it has something to do with my good friend moving back to the states tomorrow. Or even just seeing what I am missing as I watch other sisters together. But I miss my sister and wish so desperately that someone could just take this hurt away. So I am trying to keep busy, and not dwell but my mind keeps looping back to Merin. Maybe I will just allow myself to have a sad kinda day. I'll bake, and eat, and snuggle up with my girls...and hopefully tomorrow it won't be so hard.

16 comments:

H and E said...

I am so sorry you are having a hard day. I don't want to be a source to your sadness, but it makes me happy that I mean something to you, because you have meant the world to me. I am going to miss you dearly. Good thing for technology because I will not let our friendship go away!!!!

Elizabeth Cranmer said...

Sad days can be soothing and therapeutic. Hopefully today is one of those.

Katie said...

I love you Eden! If you want me and my Marin to come hang out with you, we'd love to share some sisterly love with you and your sweet kiddos. Marin and I were just reading this together, and we both miss and love you. (As a sidenote, we also agreed that Daylan is very easy on the eyes, you lucky lady!)

Eden Lang said...

haha...thanks Katie, your comment made me smile.

Anonymous said...

Eden:

My sad day was on Sunday. I've started a memorial garden for Elsie and found a wee sign for it at Goldengate: "Promise me you'll remember me and smile." It's very hard for me some days...but now, I will try to smile more.

Thelma

P.S. I love the first picture with those itty-bitty toes curled up so they don't have to touch the water!

paula said...

I wish I could take it away :(

jmmcches said...

I love these pictures Eden. So beautiful :)

Cheri said...

I love you .... hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Your baby daughter is so perfect. I love how you caught that focused look of hers.

Anonymous said...

The pangs of grief are like the ocean. It comes in waves and then recedes. The hardest part is that the wave comes when least expected and has the ability to knock us completely off our feet. We can fight it or accept it as we walk through this unasked for journey. Accepting it means reaching deep within ourselves, looking at how much it has affected our life. Accepting means growth, depth, an enlargement of your heart, an acceptance of the reality of life and a deeper gratitude for what you had with your beloved sister and a deeper appreciation of who you have walking with you now. This journey is one that in many aspects we make alone as we slowly allow ourselves to process. There isn't anything to be said that will make it better, except that you are being thought of and a prayer is being said on your behalf. You are where you are supposed to be and it is okay.

Eden Lang said...

Thank you.

Tracey said...

You wouldn't be human without the pain, and with experiencing such depth of pain and loss you also experience the opposite spectrum of joy. Because you are such an artistic person you are inclined to be very sensitive. Allow yourself the pain- quite being so hard on yourself!!! We love you and the family-I am so grateful that Daylan has found such an amazing friend to share his life with!! (And the same to you!)
My prayers are with you. lots of love- always...

pieface said...

I was thinking about you recently, and it occurred to me that with you losing your sister, your daughter became a sister. What a sacrifice and blessing at the same time (i don't mean that in any kind of insensitive way, but just that Ysa must be such a little comforter). I'm so sorry for your sad day. Sending cyber hugs and a digital ice cream. Much love, trev

Cheri said...

Treva, what a beautiful thought - another lovely way to see what a blessing Ysa is. From me, thank you.
- Cheri

Kristin Smith said...

One of my girlfriends found an old album of mine under her bed when she was cleaning out her old room at her parents house. She brought it to me for my birthday last week... It was a special surprise, because inside were pictures of Merin and I from when we were young playing and dancing. Even then she was so beautiful.

Dallas said...

Tell Daylan his hat's crooked and I feel shame for him.

Jam said...

Some days ARE unbearable...I lost my sister, too: Jill. What makes me happy is that some of her children live near me. I see bits and pieces of her--in them. They have said that they see their Mom in me sometimes and that also makes me happy. So--Ysa is the light to your sis, and you are her light to her Mom....It's beautiful and sad at the same time. Hug that baby and enjoy the hug back---because it's from your lovely angel sister.